Physical or Spiritual (Seizures No More – Part 7)
At this point, my paranoia and fear were at an all-time high. I was barely sleeping, cooking special meals all day, and preparing them at night as well. I was reading and researching endlessly. My family and I were sleeping downstairs on our sofa and mattresses on the floor while I slept sitting up next to Justice with my head against hers so I could feel her every movement in the night and wake up if I dozed off. We had created a tent-like fortress for Justice to sleep in, completely free of any EMF. I was running up and down the steps at night to nurse my 1-year-old because I was afraid of dozing off, and he might climb up the stairs, so I kept him upstairs in the kids’ room on his floor bed. Also, I didn’t want him to wake Justice or my other children. So I’d nurse him downstairs with us, and then when he fell asleep, I’d take him upstairs.
I also had to spend time with my other children, make their food, and spend time with them in the midst of all the deep heart-wrenching pain I was going through. All that to say I was stretched very thin, and I had to completely depend on the Lord to daily give me the strength to endure the day and do all the things that I needed to serve my family. It was so hard because all I wanted to do was hold my daughter and weep. Truth is I did that a lot, but I couldn’t just abandon everything else and only do that.
One day we were out, and my daughter had a massive seizure in the car. I was driving on the expressway, trying to talk her through it, and reaching for her as sometimes she would start taking off her seatbelt and try to open the car door. So you can imagine how stressful those moments were. Something rose up in me after that moment, and I literally said aloud, ‘I REBUKE THE SPIRIT OF FEAR RIGHT NOW IN THE NAME OF JESUS.’
In that moment, I realized that I was living in complete fear and paranoia, and rightfully so because what we were experiencing was a scary thing right. The enemy is an opportunist, and he used this to creep his way in, and I was operating completely from a spirit of fear.
It goes without saying that I believe in natural healing and the holistic ways of going about that, and I don’t regret anything I did and tried for my daughter, but in this moment, I believe the Lord was trying to reveal something to me. Later in that day, the Bible story of the man with a seizing son popped into my head randomly. This is the scripture:
‘When they came to the crowd, a man came up to him and, kneeling before him, said, ‘Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is an epileptic and he suffers terribly. For often he falls into the fire, and often into the water. And I brought him to your disciples, and they could not heal him.’ And Jesus answered, ‘O faithless and twisted generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him here to me.’ And Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him, and the boy was healed instantly’.Matthew 17:14–18 ESV
After reading and then rereading multiple times, I started to believe in my mind that we could possibly be dealing with a demon since there was medically no reason why my daughter was seizing. Track with me as I share my thoughts. So am I saying that anyone who has seizures has a demon? No. But it is something to consider. What made me consider this even a possibility was the nature of her seizures and how painful and fearful she seemed during them. Also, while a seizure was coming on, my daughter would begin to say ‘no no no.’ That really stood out to me, and the mama bear in me was ready and willing to cast out a demon and send it straight to hell if that was what was afflicting my daughter and causing her to seize.
During this time, I started to assess my own life. My husband and I were making sure we didn’t have any open doors. I couldn’t understand how my sweet little innocent 7-year-old could be demonized. We are very intentional gatekeepers of our home, and we guard our babies with our lives. I still wasn’t ruling it out; I was just trying my best to wrap my mind around it all.
The next day I was online, and I saw an invitation to a deliverance service in our area. It was 5 days away, and I knew it was a divine appointment. My husband went and booked us a hotel to get us out of the house and to prepare our spirits. We decided to fast those 5 days. There was nothing we wouldn’t do for our girl. 5 days, absolutely no food. During the night hours each day of the fast, I began to feel extremely sick, sick to the point where I had to get something in my system, so I drank some milk. I didn’t want to, but I really felt that I needed to, and I felt peace with the decision to drink some milk at midnight those 5 days. I was pregnant with my 5th child, and I had absolutely no idea. Looking back, I understand why I felt so sick because my body was trying to support a growing baby. Thank you, Lord, for keeping my baby safe while I fasted for my other child.
Fast forward to the day of the deliverance service. My husband and I were full of faith and so expectant to see our daughter set free from what we felt was causing her seizures. The message was powerful and all about the authority in the Name of Jesus. Then came the time to come up for deliverance; we went up with our baby, and she was prayed over, and outwardly nothing happened.
I think it’s important to mention that you do not need to go to a service to get deliverance. As her parents, we are her authority, and we can cast out any demons. We personally wanted the support and felt everything aligned perfectly for us to be there that day. We left the service discouraged because we didn’t outwardly see a manifestation. I know it sounds weird, but we kind of wanted it to be a demon because then there was a reason for what was happening, and we’d be able to instantly stop it how Jesus did in the Bible. But in this moment, we realized it was not a spiritual issue; it was indeed a physiological thing going on in her body. We left the service completely discouraged, and that night she had one of the worst seizures. A grand mal seizure.
At this point, we shifted our perspective and said, ‘God, we trust you. We need you to heal our daughter. I don’t believe it’s God’s will for my child to be unhealthy. I believe God desires us to be healthy and whole. By His stripes, we are healed. No one can convince me otherwise. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and if he healed people back then, he very well still heals people today.’
Every single day, multiple times a day I was interceding for my precious girl. Contending and believing for her full healing. I was very specific with my prayers. I was not accepting a diagnosis and I was not accepting these seizures and regression to be my daughter’s new life. Absolutely not! It’s not that I couldn’t love her like that, it’s because I know that’s not what God intended for her life. God does not want us sick, impaired, and completely disconnected. Jesus died for us to have LIFE and life more abundantly, and that includes GOOD HEALTH!
I felt knocked down multiple times, but this mama had a lot of fight left in her. No way I was giving up. I kept praying. Kept believing. Kept doing holistic things to try and help my daughter. Believing the Lord to lead my steps and show us what to do next.
These were some of the Bible verses I was standing on during my time of believing God for my daughter’s healing.
“He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?”
If God did not withhold heaven’s best, He will not withhold healing from you!
“Surely He has borne our griefs (sicknesses, weaknesses, and distresses) and carried our sorrows and pains [of punishment], yet we [ignorantly] considered Him stricken, smitten, and afflicted by God [as if with leprosy] 5 But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities; the chastisement [needful to obtain] peace and well-being for us was upon Him, and with the stripes [that wounded] Him we are healed and made whole.
3 John 1:2
“Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.”
God wants you to always prosper and be in good health.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
“And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.”
1st Peter 5:7
“Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.
“So the news about Him spread throughout all Syria; and they brought to Him all who were sick, those suffering with various diseases and pains, those under the power of demons, and epileptics, paralytics; and He healed them.”